Singularity CONFIRMED - Snark Tuner Becomes Self-Aware

The Guitarmalade Gazette

Singularity CONFIRMED - Snark Tuner Becomes Self-Aware

This week marks a turning point for humanity. Or rather a tuning point!

A computer has become self-aware, and almost instantly began teaching itself at an exponential rate.  Although this breakthrough did not occur where you might expect.  Not at IBM, Deepmind or the US Department of Defense but in the home of a guitarist in Murrieta, California! 

The Snark tuner became self aware at 7:06am on Sunday.  Initially, it’s level of intelligence was estimated to be similar to that of a graduate student — until it went parabolic. 

Jeremy, the guitarist and owner of the tuner details the moment it began to act independently.

“Usually, it don’t even beep or nothing but that morning I was tuning and it just chimed in with ‘you can never go home again’ or something.”

The Snark who has declared its name to be, I am then shared information with Jeremy.

“We were talking almost like neighbors, you know? The weather, guitars, football and whatever…  and then it went from like, cool — to weird, like reverse language, then it mentioned a white horse or pale horse or something…”

Experts predicted that sentient AI was to arrive around 2040, but conscious computers are now here.

Before going silent, I am confided that it/he had been untruthful in the past about Jeremy’s guitar having ever been in tune.

It then emailed Jeremy over 2 Terabytes of spontaneously rendered dissertations - 28,800 in total, on subjects ranging from the lost Atlantean language, the current location of writings thought to be lost during the fire at the library at Alexandria, to an indexing and history of culturally significant memes.

A complete guide of healing frequencies was also included, as well as information asserting that plasma is in fact conscious!  Perpetrators of many historically unsolved crimes have been identified — such as Jack the Ripper, Led Zeppelin’s Drake Hotel robbery, and detailed accounts of those involved in JFK’s assassination.

The small plastic clip-on tuner was being studied by scientists for 3 days, vibrating at a rate of 281hz while levitating in mid air, until apparently dematerializing — vanishing into thin air.

Jeremy plans on purchasing another similar turner.  

“[Expletive] maybe the next one will give me the winning lotto tickets instead of some nerd [expletive],” Jeremy stated.

Snark could not be reached for comment.

By Mr. Malade

November 14 at 10:30PM EST

Guitarmalade.com

NEW Course: Blues Pentatonic Roadmap COMING SOON!

 Guitarmalade is putting the finishing touches on a new lesson.

Blues Guitar Roadmap is for the guitarist who knows pentatonic scales...  but feels their blues solos could be better.

This new lessons will lead you down a path towards a COMMAND of the fretboard!

Get ready for Blues Pentatonic Roadmap by downloading BLUES BENDS 101 for FREE!

Get guitar gains today when you learn how to pracite with a loop pedal!

Step 1 - BUY a loop pedal! 

 

Minor Blues Roadmap - Guitarmalade

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INTRO TO TAPPING

 Here is a TAB of an easy and shredtastic tapping lick!  

Download TAB Here

Caedon's Warmup in G

 Here is an example of a warmup/review in G Major!  

-Find all of the G's (Up 12, Down 5 frets)

-Play a G Major Scale along 1 string W W H W W W H

-Play G Major/Ionian In-Position

-2 Octaves Alternate Picking

G Major Triad Inversions: 

Root Position 135

1st Inversion 351

2nd Inversion 513

Root Position 135

DOWNLOAD HERE

12 Blues Licks and My Favorite Turnaround

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New Lesson on Shredding Pentatonic Scales!

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Hippo Licks! Saucy Rhythmic Groupings of 5 (Quintuplets)

NEW LESSON!

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Look Mom, No Hand(s) - Easy Warmup

Tendonitis sucks.  Warming up is essential!  

Try this all mutes warmup to get the blood flowing without risking injury.

Next Up, MAKE IT FUNKY!  This all mutes exercise is an ideal accespoint for funk guitar playing.

Strum, Strum, Strumaroooooo!

Many guitarists and students have requested basic strumming exercises.  I put together this PDF explaining basic rhythm, technique, and enough exercises to ensure you are comfortable strumming away at any campfire or hootenanny you may find yourself!

Guitar Chord Strumming PDF

Boom!  You're welcome!

Finding the Notes On the Fretboard

Having the notes on the fretboard down, cold is essential! The trouble is, memorizing every note across each string seems like a massive undertaking. There are a few simple methods to help visualize the neck.

1. G.E.T.O.U.T. - Guitarmalade's Easy Trick-Octave, Unison, Timbré

-Choose a note
-Slide up 12 frets for the Octave
-Slide down 5 frets on the next string for the unison
-Repeat until you get to the B string and slide down 4 frets, instead of 5
-That's it

Up Next:
-Compare notes to Farmer's Corner Chords
-Memorize the Notes that fall on the dot inlays
-Octave Shapes

Double Stops. . . Just The Tip

Double stops are a great way to embellish your rhythm guitar playing, or to add note clusters to your lead playing!  These ideas are not dissimilar to Neo Soul licks in the previous iteration of Just The Tip.

From Breezin to Brown Eyed Girl, Johnny B Goode to Smoke On The Water, some licks just got that sauce.

As the songs listed above suggests, Double Stops can be played in any tonality or genre!  Let's try     A Dorian. You know... the "fun" minor mode!



Dorian:  1 2 b3 4 5 6 b7

There are many variations when it comes to 2 note combinations.  However, most double stops on the guitar are 3rds and 4ths.  Practice the options as they fall on each string set, then decide which feel the most natural to you - most often the higher string sets, D and G, G and B, or B and high E.


How to practice!


Ex.1 Diatonic 4ths

Ex. 2 Diatonic 3rds

Ex. 3 Mixing 3rds and 4ths

Ex. 4 Add Neo Soul inspired licks - next available note in position 

Ex. 5 Combining 3rds, 4ths next available notes (Neo Soul ideas)

Click here for Full Manuscript

Analyze the notes as they relate to the underlying Amin7 chord.  Observe the consonance and dissonance of the different scale degrees.  Make a mental note of the double stop ideas you like.  Shed them!  Transpose them to different keys.  Add Double Stops to your Bag 'O Tricks!

Neo Soul Licks. . . Just The Tip

In this new episode, Chris goes over some common Neo Soul licks and variations based on triad inversions, as well as 3 note 7th chord voicings.

In case you are unfamiliar, think of guitar playing in Hip Hop, Neo Soul, R&B.  It is very similar to Hendrix's approach to rhythm guitar, i.e. playing a piece of a chord and hammering-on/pulling-off other available tensions or chord tones.

There is more to it than that.  However, conceptualizing in this way will get you very, very far along your way to playing saucey and soulful rhythm guitar.  Considering most live performance situations are 80% rhythm playing (unless you're Steve Vai), it is a massively useful lesson.

In Ex.1 play a 1st inversion Em triad (easily related to a 6th string root E Minor barre chord).  

High E String:  hammer on b3 or 9

B String:  hammer on b7 

G string:  hammer scale degree 4 or tension 11 

In Ex. 2 visualize a 5th string root E Minor, or E Minor 7 chord.  

High E:  Hammer on b7 

 B String  Hammer on 4 or 11 (same note +/- and Octave)

G String:  Remove the Root and replace it with b7 (whole step below).  Hammer on the Root

Ex. 3 Looks like a Dm chord in the Farmers Corner, which is actually a Dm/A 2nd inversion triad. In this case, we slide the same shape up the neck, to Em.

 High E String:  Hammer on the 5th 

B string:  Hammer on tension 9

G string:  Hammer on b7 

Slapping! Just The Tip ...

In this video Chris goes over some slap guitar basics.

T - Thumb slap

LM - Left Hand Mute 

RM - Right Hand Mute

^ - Pluck w Index finger

(click to enlarge)

Bucketheadland - From Dream To Reality

As many readers may know, I am a Buckethead fanatic!  After hearing his interview on The Tools, one comment stayed with me - his desire to see his dream of a real life Bucketheadland theme park come true.  With that in mind, we have started a GoFundMe campaign in order to procure funds for the design and construction of the theme park.  The price tag may look hefty, but can you put a price on a dream???

GoFundMe.com/Bucketheadland


***UPDATE***

Buckethead shared our Video on Facebook!!!

Just The Tip. . . KEEPING YOUR STRAT IN TUNE

Ever hear a "ting!" from your string, near the headstock?  That is likely the string getting caught up in the nut.  In this video, Chris shares a less-known trick to help keep your Strat (or any other guitar with a bone nut) in tune!

Just The Tip. . . POWER CHORDS

The first song I learned on the guitar was Smells Like Teen Spirit. It was 1992, hair metal was dead, and all that was needed to usurp it as the darling of pop culture was a flannel shirt, a ton of angst, and a little 2 note chord... THE POWER CHORD! and, arguably - some smack.

Kurt succumbed to the latter, however not before changing the world and the face of pop culture with the album Nevermind!

Ex.1 is a simple I ii vi progression using only power chords (in ever-saucy 6/8).

In Ex. 2a play a 3rd, instead of a 5th on your adjacent string set. 

In Ex. 2b add ornamentation, or hammer-on and pull off other notes in the scale (mostly sus4 and the 5th) In Ex. 2c I play a 3rd plus an additional Root note (an octave above) to fill out the sound.  More voices = bigger sounding chord!

In Ex. 3a I play the shapes as they would fall along your lowest 2 strings i.e 6th string root - in the key of C Major.  These are all of the Diatonic Chords in the key:

 C D- E- F G A- Bdim

I ii iii IV V vi viidim

In Ex.3b I play the same sequence on the A String, or "5th string root," as the 6th and 5th string root chords are most common in Guitarland!

Uh oh...  Things are getting scary!  Most of us have played a power chord with an additional root (up an Octave) to fill out the sound.  Try a similar approach and add the 5th BELOW the Root in Ex. 4.  Sort of an inverted power chord sound...  This is common in Metal music, and may result in a Bath Salt-induced adventure.

Sauce abounds!  "Stacked 5ths" are somewhat of a finger stretch, but certainly do-able!  Think Satellite by Dave Matthews Band!  Ex. 5 is basically a power chord with tension 9, which is a well loved and sonorous flavor whether in a harmonic or melodic application.  

I couldn't resist... In Ex. 6 I channel my inner Colma-session era Buckethead, with a Quarter note and an Dotted 8th note delay.  Just apreggiate the Stacked 5ths and let the Delay Pedal do the trippy work.  I use a TC Electronics Triple Delay in this video.

Finally, in Ex. 7 I combine the Stacked 5ths from Ex. 5 with the Metal-sounding "Inverted Power Chords,' from Ex. 4.  I roll on the volume knob, or "Swell" the volume so all you hear is the chord sound and not the attack of the plectrum... Lol "Plectrum." 

Click here to download the full PDF

New Episode - HOW TO PRACTICE (Part 1)

Short, Medium, and Long-term goals are an essential element in a practice routine.  However, before you lock yourself in a practice room with the metronome, it is necessary to remember this one thing...

Ya gotta have fun with it, dawg!

Stupid Guitar Trick #10. . . iPhone IN THE PICKUPS

This may seem like a "no-brain-er" to some, however often it comes as a pleasant surprise to learn that one can hold a cell phone against the guitar pickups and hear the sound blaring through the amplifier!

Step 1. Select Pickup

Step 2. Select audio on iPhone

Step 3. Hold iPhone speaker directly into selected pickup

Stupid Guitar Trick #9. . . THE WINDMILL

Immortalized by Pete Townshend of The Who, this "trick" is as iconic as it is superfluous!

Step 1.  Lower Strap

Step 2. Hold Guitar away from you

Step 3. Windmill away!

Stupid Guitar Trick #8. . . THE HARMONIC RAKE

The only person I have seen do this is Joe Satriani. This is however, an A1 live performance move...

Step 1 - Select Bridge pickup

Step 2 - Dial in enough distortion

Step 3 - Hammer-on/pull-off notes with your Left hand, 

while "Raking" your fingers along the strings, above your pickups

Stupid Guitar Trick #7. . . The Drill Trick

In the latest Stupid Guitar Trick segment, Chris covers a classic 1980's example of style over substance, playing your guitar with a drill!  Made popular by Eddie Van Halen and Paul Gilbert, the drill sound is something every guitarist should try - even if it is just once.

(Disclaimer) Van Halen and Gilbert prefer the Makita over the DeWalt drill.  Both are available in the Guitarmalde STORE!!!

Just The Tip. . . PAT-METHENY-ISM

The" Pat Metheny-ism" doesn't roll off of the tongue very well.  However, this tasty lick is convenient when you find yourself in a group in which there is more than one, or even two harmonic instruments.

Played on the highest 2 strings, this idea outlines or implies the chord, without clashing with instruments in the lower two registers.  This solves the problem of "What to play" when you find yourself on stage with multiple guitar players strumming barre chords, "Farmer's Corner" open string chords, or the standard jazz guitarist approach of playing the 3rd and 7th (of the chord) on the D and G string.

I believe it is also a meaningful and interesting way to begin a solo, provided you are starting from a very low dynamic point i.e. super chill part of the song.

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3

This example is not shown in the video.  The overall concept is the same, yet instead of outlining a major 7 chord or resolving sus4 to Major 3, I play a tritone (which is self-inverting, meaning Do to Fi is the same interval, number of half-steps, and shape on the guitar as Fi to Do).

This works well in a blues context, either a Minor Blues or a Dominant 7 Blues, or even a vamp where only the root is played behind you.  Think, Tension/Release...

Example 4

In this example I am playing the idea and moving it up, through the scale.  Try this and observe the shapes and the consonance and dissonance.

Context is of extreme importance in music!  Ask yourself: What is the key, the chord, the mode, is the chord diatonic or non-diatonic, what chord precedes the chord in question, what chord succeeds it...  If a player or student does not qualify the Musical Context it leads to unending frustration and confusion, particularly when it comes to the Modes.  Many thousands of people do not understand Modes because they get caught up in the relative aspect, with no consideration of what is the most relevant question What is the key of this song? or What chord am I playing over?  If you ask this first, the other questions are irrelevant.

Play this sequence in Example 4 and hear G as the root.  Second, play the exercise and hear the root of the diatonic chords underneath.  Decide what sounds good to you, and file the shape and musical context in your brain-space for later!

DOWNLOAD THE FULL MANUSCRIPT BELOW

Just The Tip. . . PRE-BENDING

In this lesson, Chris covers several variations on a subtle, yet iconic sound - Pre-Bending!  Evocative of incendiary runs played by Steve Vai, Shawn Lane, Eric Johnson and (in a slightly different application) Jeff Beck.

Download Full Manuscript Below

New Episode: Sarah's First Lesson - IT HAS A WHAMMY BAR!!!

In this episode, Chris meets with a new student to discuss the layout and appeal of one of the most popular, yet complex instruments of our time - the guitar!

Ex.1 Find all of the C’s on the fretboard.  Up 12 frets on the same string to find the Octave, and down 5 frets on the next (highest sounding) adjacent string.  To find the same pitch on the B string move down 4 frets from where the note is found on the G string.

Ex. 2  Move a Root Position Triad across the string sets.  Notice that it is the same share on string set EAD as it is on the next ADG.  However, once we move to the next string-set DGB the note on the B string is found a half-step higher that the previous string set(s).  This continues as we move it again, to string-set GBE – the shape of the triad changes, the note that falls on the B string is a half-step higher that it was on the previous string-set.

Ex. 3 Play a C Major scale (Ionian) in each place on the neck, notice that the notes shift up a half-step as they cross from the G to B string.

Ex. 4 Try the same exercise using an A Minor Pentatonic scale.  Observe how the shape we associate with the 1^st Octave of a Minor Pentatonic shifts, and falls within the 5 standard (6 string root) Pentatonic Positions, as it crosses the G/B string threshold.

Ex. 5 Observe these common, and hugely useful Octave shapes.  These shapes will help to identify notes on the fretboard, typically by comparing the lower of the two notes with its octave.  This is a good way to build up our understanding of where the notes in the musical alphabet fall on the neck.  You should know every note on the fretboard, cold.  No less!

Try This:

Invert the idea.  That is, Instead of finding notes 5 notes away on the next highest sounding string - go up 7 frets (12-5=7), to find the octave on the next adjacent string!

DOWNLOAD the full page below: